Celebrate everyday. A lesson from my friend Cora.

The following paragraphs were written last year but never published...

On January 31, 2014 I wrote:

"So much has CHANGED. Again.

Change is what keeps the world revolving. Change takes us all from the beginning to the end. Change is what is, was, and what is going to be.

My life has changed again.

I still can't discern my gas from the little ones movements and kicks but Iʻve been told that those tiny movements are happening deep with in my body.  Now that I am officially jumping into the second trimester I am positive that now is the time to celebrate with Bloggerland.

Weʻre having a baby!"

Then I don't write anything again until March...

"So Iʻve mentioned this... but I donʻt think Iʻve outright written this next statement on my blog.

Iʻm pregnant.

Very happily, hugely, lovingly seven months pregnant. Jason and I are expecting a son around August 17th. He is already wiggling his butt at the ultrasound technicians and waking up his momma with kicking. He is getting stronger and stronger every day. I donʻt think Iʻve ever been so excited about anything until this little man began to grow inside my womb. Well... maybe a few things come pretty close and maybe one day Iʻll tell you about them.

So back to my Family. I have the best Family. In the midst of planning for my Grandmothers Celebration my Family planned and executed a baby shower for me. There was ALOT of family involved and EVERYONE kept the secret. It was an amazing night filled with family, crazy games and good food. And Crown Royal... But not for me..."

And then again in July 2014 about a month before I gave birth...

"I can see my babies leg. It is rubbing up against my upper abdomen. And now... there is his little butt moving along my middle past my belly button. He's not as gymnastic as he was a few weeks ago but when my boy moves, my entire universe moves with him.

Especially when he head butts my bladder. Now THAT is a special feeling..."

The paragraphs above were written by me a differing times before my son was born. I didn't post any of it. I know I posted different blurbs about the pregnancy and life and stuff but I didn't post these tender bits of me.

I don't know why.

Why am I now? Because of my friend Cora. Even though she is experiencing something that no mother or father wants to ever experience she is CELEBRATING EVERY MOMENT and is letting the entire world know it. Cora is one of the smartest, most vibrant women I know. I see her posts on Facebook and she makes me want to laugh and cry and just simply FEEL! 

What is she going through? 

Something that would have made me crawl into myself. Something that makes me wish I had celebrated a even more everyday. Something that REMINDS ME to celebrate everyday and to BE THANKFUL. 

I am so thankful for friends and family like YOU. I am SO THANKFUL for friends, strong loving friends like Cora.

Love you.

And thank you to my beautiful little boy. I celebrate you everyday.

Aloha,

Happy Nathaniel

I am also so very thankful for this man. Love you.

Update:

A reply from Cora...

"Thank you, Pili. Aloha means Hello, Goodbye, and I love you. Today that is what we said to our sweet baby, born at 20 weeks, 5 days. Aloha to my Pu'uwai, to the heart that beat inside of me and reminded me of what it means to love unconditionally."

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

There is always a first time for everything. In the past few months I've been having
many "first times".


Aloha to my Family and Friends...

I'm going out of the country FOR THE FiRST TIME!!! Awesome awesomeness!!! I am actually at the airport right now doing a little dance.

And now airport security are eyeing me strangely so maybe I'll stop my little dance.

Today I want to talk about the amazing mess of life. Life is meant to be messy, colorful and LIVED. LIVE LIFE! Take the time to DO SOMETHING you have NEVER done before!!! Don't wait for "the right time", MAKE TIME!!! I waited so long to do this. I made excuses about money or how busy I was or... Blah blah blah.

NO MORE EXCUSES!

I got myself a passport (ANOTHER FIRST) and I plan to have it filled before it expires in 2023.

Don't let time fly by folks.. FLY WITH IT!!!

I love you all my amazing family and stellar friends. See you back here on Monday.

Live, love and aloha,

Cousin Pili

Love and Fortitude.

"How ironic is it that I am on the same bus route (A) that I chose not to wait for exactly 1 year ago? 

For once in my life, my impatience benefited me in ways that I could never be less grateful for. For my impatience allowed me to walk home and have a wonderful conversation with my dad. If I had known that it was the last one I would ever have had, I would have never hung up. Could everyone please do me a favor? Call your parents if you haven't spoken to them for a few days or just tell them that you love them and be sincere because life is very unexpected.--- Peace and love, chelsea"

-Chelsea Caplener, Awesome Cousin

Dear Family and Friends, 

I am sorry about the late post. Between the terroristic attacks in Boston, the anniversary of my Uncle's passing and my never ending attempt to stay on the brighter side of life... I didn't know what to write yesterday. 

I didn't want to write about death and the outrage I felt when I heard about the attack on Boston at the marathon. A MARATHON! There is NO WAY to spin such a horrendous act into something that we should learn from. There is nothing to be learned. There are just such HORRIBLE people in the world who think the death of innocent people is somehow justified in their warped, murderous minds. It is miserably maddening to find out that an event that is supposed to promote LIFE and HEALTH has suddenly become a moment when we all have to question our safety and the safety of the ones we love. Anytime a public event is sponsored a twinge of FEAR will be like mildew on our enthusiasm. 

I just watched two CNN reports. The first was about one of the first-responders who found the eight year old boy who died and his sister, a six year old, who's leg was blown off. 

How the hell is that JUSTIFIED? Excuse me, I keep on using the word "Justified". In the second report that I watched one of the accused bombers classmates said that the accused thought that terrorism was "justified."

AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY and a SIX YEAR OLD GIRL!!! HOW is THAT "JUSTIFIED"? 

All life should be precious. All life should be held up and honored. If it isn't, if life just becomes a series of news reports of the fuckedupness of the world then... what? WHAT? Planes fly into buildings in NYC. Little kids are shot in school in Connecticut. The same day of the bombings in Boston there were also bombings across Iraq. Do we just live in FEAR? Do we hide behind brick walls of pain and suffering? Do we have a CALL TO ARMS and take justice and a gun into out own hands?

OH... on that... I've also been reading reports of people attacking their neighbors because they think that THEY ARE JUSTIFIED in BLAMING a particular group or/and groups for the behavior of the terrorists. Once again with the JUSTIFICATION of HATE....

Hate is NEVER JUSTIFIED. EVER.

Love.

That is the only answer I can come up with. LOVE MORE. Love your family more. Love your friends more. Love your neighbor more. Love the world you live in and hopefully it'll be a better place. Live life with love.

Love will not solve everything. It WILL make the LIFE you have to LIVE a more fulfilling one. Love will not prevent events like the bombings in Boston from happening. It will FILL the FEAR that these terrible events promote. It will FILL the FEAR with FORTITUDE. 

FORTITUDE:

Strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my Uncle's passing. The quote I started this blog with exemplifies one of POINTS I always try to get across in this blog. LOVE MORE. Take the time to TELL the ones you LOVE that you LOVE THEM. You never know what is going to happen in the crazy world that we all live in. 

I am a ridiculous optimist but even I know that SHIT HAPPENS. That little girl that lost her leg also lost her brother. She will never get to play with him again. She will never get to know the man he could have become... because of someones JUSTIFICATION. 

The only thing in this life that is justified is LOVE. Love harder. Love more. 

Love and Fortitude,

Cousin Pili

Pro-Possibilities. The question of Choice.

Hello my beautiful family and my amazing friends!

Welcome back to Cousin Pili's Blog! We're going to talk about BABIES!!!

But first... My Disclaimer. Pilialoha K. Nathaniel is not a doctor. I'm not an obgyn or a pediatrician. I have never had a baby. I am not pregnant. The only experience I have had with babies is 1) Raising my Sister and Brother. I am more than a decade older than both and 2) I was once a baby myself so I have experience being one. I don't remember much but I have a really good imagination!

I could go so many many different avenues with this topic. Lets start off with me first.

Me.

I was (unexpected, a surprise, not planned). My mother decided to keep me and I was born. Society would say that my mother had been single but I don't believe Society. I have a VERY LARGE and EXTENDED family who loved and cared for both my mother and I.

Why am I telling you this? Where am I going with this? Maybe Ill figure that out when I'm finished writing.

So... Lets start with getting pregnant. If you don't know how to get pregnant or how to prevent getting pregnant please ask me and I will do my best to tell you. Not in this Blog though. I have already talked about birth control and condoms and STDs and not DYING because you couldn't take a moment to wrap it up!.

You are PREGNANT. What now?

YOU (The Woman) and YOU (The Man) have a handful of options in front of you. I am including The Man because (most of the time) it takes TWO to create a pregnancy.

Lets take a moment to talk about The Man first. YOU, The Man, have some decisions to make.

1) You love respect and honor this Woman and you support her in her decisions.

2) You love respect and honor this Woman and you think she is making the wrong decision and you will try to convince her otherwise.

3) You don't care. (You wouldn't be reading my blog if you didn't care.)

I'm simplifying everything here for the purpose of getting at the main idea here for The Man. YOU, The Man may think you have no say or control over what happens... Not true. You do!

And we will come back to you, Man.

The Woman. So you are pregnant!!! If this was planned.. CONGRATS!!! If this wasn't planned and you are very happy and glowing and you can't wait to be a mommy... CONGRATS!

Please...

1) See a doctor regularly and do what the doctor says.

2) Look at your finances and PLAN for the future expenses of having a child.

3) ASK for HELP! Family and friends, the people who care about you WILL HELP!!!

Lets back track a little...

So you are pregnant. You did not plan this and you are on the fence about what to do.

Abortion?

It has entered your brain and either it flew out of your brain as quickly as it flew in or you are thinking about it.

NOTE HERE: No one ever talked to me DIRECTLY about all this "stuff". I thought something was wrong with me when I went though puberty. I was SCARED SHITLESS about SEX. So... if you have a question my dear FAMILY and FRIENDS or even if you want to give me YOUR opinion on MY VIEWS. LEAVE A COMMENT!!! I will try my BEST to give you a straight answer.

ANOTHER NOTE HERE: I am PRO-CHOICE.

And...

YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CHOICE YOU MAKE! If you make the choice to END the pregnancy then do not gloss over it with the bullshit that political pro-choice AND pro-life bullshitters try to feed you. If you follow my blog then you have heard me say this before:

Don't LIE to yourself.

Get the truth about where your body is in the pregnancy. Get the truth about where your mind and heart is. Because no matter what decision you make you will either have the POSSIBILITY OF GIVING LIFE or you will be KILLING THE POSSIBILITY OF LIFE.

LIFE is about POSSIBILITIES.  We will come back to that.

I believe that to have an abortion means killing apart of yourself. It means cutting out something that your body is growing. It is apart of YOU.

And... Sometimes you have to remove the POSSIBILITY of something NOT GOOD for you.

And... The worst part is... you will never know how your life would have been either way. YOU have to make the BEST DECISION for YOU.

Lets take a moment and go back to The Man.

So The Woman tells you her decision. What do you do? Ill tell you what NOT to do...

DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF! Get the truth about how you feel and what this woman and possibly your child mean to you. Don't hide! FACE your decisions. Be SMART!!! If you do not agree... THEN SAY SOMETHING!

NOTE HERE for The Man... YOU DO NOT have the right to TELL The Woman WHAT TO DO. You can MAKE YOUR OPINION KNOWN. That is all. That is HUGE. If you don't say anything then you will have to live with all the POSSIBILITIES that come from that decision.

AND...

I did not expect to write this tonight. Someone just asked me, "What are you writing about?"

I said, "Pregnancy... and ... um... abortion." Then I proceeded to make excuses as to why I chose this topic. There needs to be no excuse. We should NOT be afraid/scared/uncomfortable to talk about SEX and all the shit that comes with it. WE SHOULD TALK. WE SHOULD DISCUSS.

I was (unexpected, a surprise, unplanned). My mom could have done something else in her life. My Mom decided to have me and I was born. SHE CHOSE to HAVE ME. It was a choice, "I" WAS A CHOICE... not a requirement. 

Thank you MOM for choosing the POSSIBILITY of ME.

Your Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Cousin, Niece, Aunty and Friend...

Pili