Sex.

Aloha my FAMILY, my FRIENDS and all the other lovely people reading!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! Today marks the ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY of THIS BLOG! It all started HERE on January 14. Twelve posts and almost nineteen-hundred views later I am celebrating a month of WRITING! It's been awesome! 

Now back to Valentine's Day and .... shhhhhhh ... SEX!

"You should be talking about love, PILI!!!" I ALWAYS speak of love. I am trying to drill it into anyone who stops by here that they should be LOVING LIFE! LOVE YOURSELF by doing what makes you HAPPY and HEALTHY. LOVE YOUR BODY by eating happily and healthily. LOVE THOSE AROUND YOU because you don't know when the last day will come. LOVE will ALWAYS prevail throughout this BLOG. Look up the meaning of "Pilialoha" HERE to find out why. It's not the meaning my Mom gave me but it should clue you into my reasoning for filling my life (and this Blog) with LOVE.

Also.. I figure if you don't already know that you should tell the ones YOU LOVE that you LOVE THEM EVERYDAY... then you're probably lost anyway and nothing I say will change your mindset. I hope to change your mindset though!!! Call your son, daughter, mother, father, grandpa, grandma, aunty, uncle or cousin RIGHT NOW and say I LOVE YOU!!!

ALSO... If you are one of those people who don't do anything special for their loved one on VALENTINE'S DAY because you think THIS DAY is the ultimate exploitation of LOVE by the candy and greeting card industries THEN you are also one of those people who don't believe in SANTA and you shouldn't be reading my blog anyway.

SEX.

First my DISCLAIMER. This blog was originally written for my FAMILY (mostly the younger, over eighteen family members) and whatever friends happened to stop by. That being said, my family and friends know me and the crazy ideas I get about love and the world and other things and they understand that I am a little crazy. If you don't understand the words that are coming out of my mouth (or my hands... whatever) then read once more. If you still don't understand... THEN ASK ME A QUESTION. That's what the little comment box is for.

I will also repeat here that this blog is for ADULTS. YOU SHOULD BE EIGHTEEN! If you are not then STOP READING. I have said it and I now assume no responsibility for anything your young mind is about to read because your parents should be blocking this stuff.

ALSO... I AM NOT A THERAPIST. I am not a SEX therapist. I didn't go to college for SEX-ED. Although a Performing Arts degree is probably the closest thing to it. I am not a doctor. I am not a nurse. I am not a psychologist. I am not a counselor. I am not affiliated with any sort of health industry. You are reading this blog with the full knowledge that Pilialoha K. Nathaniel is not authorized by any school, institution or government to give health and medical advise. If you follow any advise in this blog it is at your own discretion and at your own risk. Okay? Nod if you agree. If you read anything past this paragraph that means you have nodded and you agree.

You nodded?

Firstly... GET TESTED! I don't care if you've never had sex before. If you are EIGHTEEN and over, it is my opinion that YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR OWN HEALTH! You must take responsibility for your own health especially your SEXUAL HEALTH. Talk with your health care provider. Talk with your school nurse. GET TESTED! Check for everything!

I don't wanna talk about it but the good catholic girl that rests in my crooked little pinky-toe is yelling at me.... ABSTINENCE. Don't have SEX. It's the best way not to get pregnant before you are ready. It's the best way not to contract SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. AND... I DO NOT promote ABSTINENCE. I DO NOT promote PROMISCUITY either. I PROMOTE HEALTH and HAPPINESS. If you have not had sex and want to keep it that way. YIPPEE!!! I did not have sex until college. I ABSTAINED until I... well ...until I didn't. If you have religious or moral reasons for waiting... well... you probably looked at my next paragraph and stopped reading a long time ago.

WEAR A CONDOM. I don't care if you are a Man, Woman, Homo, Hetero, Gay, Straight, Mahu, Trans... I don't even know all the names... AND I DON'T CARE. WRAP IT UP! That also means you LADIES. Ladies... you need to be taking control of your own SEXUAL HEALTH. There are GIRL CONDOMS TOO. You put it inside you!!! AMAZING!!! I've never tried one but I am assuming they work the same way only backwards. If you are having SEX and you are NOT in a devoted and monogamous relationship (we will get to those later) THEN WEAR A CONDOM! Remember this: "YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT THING HAS BEEN!" And until you can sit down with your partner to have THE CONVERSATION (we will also come back to this)... then you need to WRAP IT UP!

"But, PILI, I don't like condoms. They itch! They smell funny! I can't cum with it on! I don't like the way it feels!"

You know what I say to that. BULLSHIT. COMPLETE and UTTER BULLSHIT. If you are fucking that hole or letting that hole be fucked... whatever kind of hole it may be... WRAP IT UP.

HAVE LUBRICANT! Water based is best. NOT VASELINE. I'm so serious. I know a few of you are probably laughing. But I am so very serious. Sometimes things get dry. Don't just keep hammering away at it. Wet it first! It not only feels better for both parties but it also prevents rawness and tearing. There is less chance of disease and infection.

After you're done... CLEAN IT UP. I'm not saying right away. But after you've let that golden rush of amazingness come and go, after you've cuddled a bit... or a least after you've said THANK YOU... excuse yourself and find the bathroom and CLEAN IT UP.

-----Women... PEE!!! Best way to clean it up is to sit on the toilet and pee. You'll flush out your urinary tract and give your bits a rinse. This will lower your chances of UTI (urinary tract infection). Now... if you're at home... go ahead and give your vagina a rinse. Stuff gets up in there!!! If not, wad up a piece of toilet paper, wet it and wipe. Front to back like your momma taught you. This will NOT PREVENT ANY DISEASES!!! But it will give your vagina a breather and a clean vagina is a happy vagina. Drink some water. Wash out your mouth. Take stock of yourself. Did you enjoy yourself? If you did... then get back out there and enjoy yourself more. If you gotta go... then it's a perfect time to get out there and search for your panties.

-----Men... if you are at your partners place... be a gentleman and throw the condom in the trash. Don't just leave it bedside. Take a piss. Flushes out any bacteria that may have traveled upwards. Men get UTI too. It's not fun for both sexes. If you're at home rinse off... if not... wet some toilet paper and wipe. Don't use the towel. That's rude. And don't forget to flush. Great time to wash your mouth out and make sure your pits don't stink. This five minute time alone also gives you a chance to reevaluate the situation and how you feel about what just went down. Did you like it, do you want to stay for breakfast... then by all means... cook breakfast. If not, then its a good time find your pants.

Don't take more than ten minutes taking care of the sanitary conditions of your bits. Your partner is gonna think you fell in the toilet.

Oh... you should also WRAP IT UP if you don't want babies. But that is for my Easter Sunday Blog.

Let us continue on shall we... If you are in a relationship... meaning: you will be having sex with this individual on a regular basis. HAVE THIS CONVERSATION:

Questions:

1) Are you monogamous? Are you or Will you be having sex with other people?
2) Have you been TESTED? If not... GET TESTED and SHOW each other the results.
3) Have ever had any sort of infectious disease? Do you have any STD's?

DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUAL HEALTH. DO NOT BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE. YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE!

Let your partner know your likes and dis-likes. Let your partner KNOW when it hurts. DEFINITELY let your partner know when it FEELS GOOD! TALK!!! COMMUNICATE!!!

Now for my list of resources because you KNOW it didn't just wake up this morning with this info... for more information you can use these LINKS to go to these websites:

CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL and PREVENTION or CDC
The MAYO CLINIC
PLANNED PARENTHOOD

Health, Happiness and much ALOHA,

Cousin Pili