Friday, April 26, 2013

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

There is always a first time for everything. In the past few months I've been having
many "first times".


Aloha to my Family and Friends...

I'm going out of the country FOR THE FiRST TIME!!! Awesome awesomeness!!! I am actually at the airport right now doing a little dance.

And now airport security are eyeing me strangely so maybe I'll stop my little dance.

Today I want to talk about the amazing mess of life. Life is meant to be messy, colorful and LIVED. LIVE LIFE! Take the time to DO SOMETHING you have NEVER done before!!! Don't wait for "the right time", MAKE TIME!!! I waited so long to do this. I made excuses about money or how busy I was or... Blah blah blah.

NO MORE EXCUSES!

I got myself a passport (ANOTHER FIRST) and I plan to have it filled before it expires in 2023.

Don't let time fly by folks.. FLY WITH IT!!!

I love you all my amazing family and stellar friends. See you back here on Monday.

Live, love and aloha,

Cousin Pili



Monday, April 22, 2013

Help me find STRENGTH.


Aloha my Family and Friends,

I live my life with love and compassion. I have an open heart and mind. In this blog I promote and inspire HEALTH, WELLNESS and above all... LOVE and LOVING THE LIFE YOU HAVE TO LIVE.

Some days are a little harder. I do my best to fight it. I fight it with POSITIVE ACTION and the PROMOTION OF LOVE. AND... Some days it just really slaps you in the face. Some days I am reminded that this world is filled with hateful thoughts, language, ACTIONS and PEOPLE.

Hateful.

There are just some truly hateful people in this world. People that use language, actions and thought to inspire and promote hate.

I don't understand it. Why? It really makes no sense. Maybe by talking it out WE will figure it out.

Fearful.

Hate is cowardice and requires and inspires fear. In order to HATE something I think one requires IGNORANCE and FEAR of the subject. A HATER in turn feels a need to make their subject feel the same.

Someone who kills is someone who is already dead inside.

SOMEONE MAKE ME STOP NOW!!!!

Writing about HATE and FEAR is not making me feel any better. I feel like I am promoting THE STENCH OF IT.

I'M STOPPING NOW!

FAMILY.

FRIENDSHIP.

LOVE.

Much Better.

Friendship inspires love. You, my amazing friends and family have been an inspiration to me. I am hoping that you will HELP ME. HELP ME TO FIND THE LOVE IN THIS WORLD.

HELP ME TO PROMOTE WELLNESS.

HELP ME TO INSPIRE YOU TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH LOVE!

I am still going to blog twice a week but I am changing the days to MONDAY and THURSDAY. Give me your healthful and helpful ideas, your mana'o and any loving thoughts. Give me people who you think I should focus on! People in the family or friends who PROMOTE LOVE and HEALTH BY EXAMPLE!

Help me to balance out the hate in this world with THE STRENGTH OF LOVE.

Boston Strong,

Cousin Pili
NYC. This flag unites us all.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Love and Fortitude.


"How ironic is it that I am on the same bus route (A) that I chose not to wait for exactly 1 year ago? 

For once in my life, my impatience benefited me in ways that I could never be less grateful for. For my impatience allowed me to walk home and have a wonderful conversation with my dad. If I had known that it was the last one I would ever have had, I would have never hung up. Could everyone please do me a favor? Call your parents if you haven't spoken to them for a few days or just tell them that you love them and be sincere because life is very unexpected.--- Peace and love, chelsea"

-Chelsea Caplener, Awesome Cousin

Dear Family and Friends, 

I am sorry about the late post. Between the terroristic attacks in Boston, the anniversary of my Uncle's passing and my never ending attempt to stay on the brighter side of life... I didn't know what to write yesterday. 

I didn't want to write about death and the outrage I felt when I heard about the attack on Boston at the marathon. A MARATHON! There is NO WAY to spin such a horrendous act into something that we should learn from. There is nothing to be learned. There are just such HORRIBLE people in the world who think the death of innocent people is somehow justified in their warped, murderous minds. It is miserably maddening to find out that an event that is supposed to promote LIFE and HEALTH has suddenly become a moment when we all have to question our safety and the safety of the ones we love. Anytime a public event is sponsored a twinge of FEAR will be like mildew on our enthusiasm. 

I just watched two CNN reports. The first was about one of the first-responders who found the eight year old boy who died and his sister, a six year old, who's leg was blown off. 

How the hell is that JUSTIFIED? Excuse me, I keep on using the word "Justified". In the second report that I watched one of the accused bombers classmates said that the accused thought that terrorism was "justified."


AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY and a SIX YEAR OLD GIRL!!! HOW is THAT "JUSTIFIED"? 

All life should be precious. All life should be held up and honored. If it isn't, if life just becomes a series of news reports of the fuckedupness of the world then... what? WHAT? Planes fly into buildings in NYC. Little kids are shot in school in Connecticut. The same day of the bombings in Boston there were also bombings across Iraq. Do we just live in FEAR? Do we hide behind brick walls of pain and suffering? Do we have a CALL TO ARMS and take justice and a gun into out own hands?

OH... on that... I've also been reading reports of people attacking their neighbors because they think that THEY ARE JUSTIFIED in BLAMING a particular group or/and groups for the behavior of the terrorists. Once again with the JUSTIFICATION of HATE....

Hate is NEVER JUSTIFIED. EVER.

Love.

That is the only answer I can come up with. LOVE MORE. Love your family more. Love your friends more. Love your neighbor more. Love the world you live in and hopefully it'll be a better place. Live life with love.

Love will not solve everything. It WILL make the LIFE you have to LIVE a more fulfilling one. Love will not prevent events like the bombings in Boston from happening. It will FILL the FEAR that these terrible events promote. It will FILL the FEAR with FORTITUDE. 

FORTITUDE:
Strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my Uncle's passing. The quote I started this blog with exemplifies one of POINTS I always try to get across in this blog. LOVE MORE. Take the time to TELL the ones you LOVE that you LOVE THEM. You never know what is going to happen in the crazy world that we all live in. 

I am a ridiculous optimist but even I know that SHIT HAPPENS. That little girl that lost her leg also lost her brother. She will never get to play with him again. She will never get to know the man he could have become... because of someones JUSTIFICATION. 

The only thing in this life that is justified is LOVE. Love harder. Love more. 

Love and Fortitude,

Cousin Pili

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Perseverance.



Perseverance. 
Continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.
-Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Aloha to my Family, My Friends and everyone else who has taken a moment to stop by.

I am going to talk about PERSEVERANCE today. Well... I am actually going to let a few quotes do most of the talking for me.


“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” 


Life is full of hardships and "defeats" but it is only a failure if you view it with negativity. IT IS A FAILURE if you lay down and drown yourself in self-pity. IT IS A FAIL if you lash out with negativity at the PERCEIVED people and/or things in your life that you blame for YOUR DEFEAT. YOU FAILED. Not anyone or anything else. YOU.

Maya Angelou. Tells us that even in DEFEAT you have not FAILED if you RISE FROM IT. She believes that DEFEAT is necessary. It is. It is called LIFE LESSONS. Rise from YOUR DEFEAT and LEARN FROM IT. What happened? Do you have all the information necessary to RISE from IT? LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES and DON'T LOOK BACK.

“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” 

Never "walk back". FORWARD. GO FORWARD. Let go of the negativity of the past. Let go and learn from the failures of life and MOVE ON. Without MOVING ON you will never MOVE FOWARD. As President Lincoln says here, you do not have to move fast; you just have to start MOVING.

“When you get to the end of your rope. Tie a knot and hang on.” 

So you have picked yourself back up. You are moving and PERSEVERING! Do you feel like giving up? SURE YOU DO!!! Are You going to GIVE UP? FUCK NO! Whether You are working toward the betterment of yourself, your business or/and your family and friends... whatever AWESOMELY GOOD THING you are working toward... STICK WITH IT! President Roosevelt says to HANG ON! I say, "LEAD THE WAY!" Tie on more rope, ribbon, thread... and KEEP GOING!

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” 

Can you imagine if Edison had just given up? What if the creator of the LIGHT BULB had thrown his creation against the wall in frustration and given up? No light bulb? I am fairly certain someone would have figured it out but IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? Someone else to figure IT out? NO! PERSEVERE! 

“NEVER GIVE UP
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
Is spent developing the mind
Instead of the heart
Be compassionate
Not just to your friends
But to everyone
Be compassionate
Work for peace
In your heart and in the world
Work for peace
And I say again
Never give up
No matter what is going on around you
Never give up” 

This gentle spirit sums up my thoughts exactly. Even in your struggles remember to act with compassion toward all. WE ARE ALL WORKING THOUGH LIFE. WE HAVE ALL HAD OUR OWN STRUGGLES, DEFEATS and FAILURES. Be compassionate to everyone because they are just like you. I can only hope that though EVERYTHING that we can all learn to PERSEVERE in and with HAPPINESS, LOVE and COMPASSION!

I will leave you with a poem by Rudyard Kipling in "If: A Fathers Advice to his Son." 

Perseverance, 

Cousin Pili

“If you can keep your head when all about you 

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;



If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise



If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;



If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools



If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;



If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will which says to them: 'Hold on!'



If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;



If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!” 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Pro-Possibilities. The question of Choice.


Hello my beautiful family and my amazing friends!

Welcome back to Cousin Pili's Blog! We're going to talk about BABIES!!!

But first... My Disclaimer. Pilialoha K. Nathaniel is not a doctor. I'm not an obgyn or a pediatrician. I have never had a baby. I am not pregnant. The only experience I have had with babies is 1) Raising my Sister and Brother. I am more than a decade older than both and 2) I was once a baby myself so I have experience being one. I don't remember much but I have a really good imagination!

I could go so many many different avenues with this topic. Lets start off with me first.

Me.

I was (unexpected, a surprise, not planned). My mother decided to keep me and I was born. Society would say that my mother had been single but I don't believe Society. I have a VERY LARGE and EXTENDED family who loved and cared for both my mother and I.

Why am I telling you this? Where am I going with this? Maybe Ill figure that out when I'm finished writing.

So... Lets start with getting pregnant. If you don't know how to get pregnant or how to prevent getting pregnant please ask me and I will do my best to tell you. Not in this Blog though. I have already talked about birth control and condoms and STDs and not DYING because you couldn't take a moment to wrap it up!.

You are PREGNANT. What now?

YOU (The Woman) and YOU (The Man) have a handful of options in front of you. I am including The Man because (most of the time) it takes TWO to create a pregnancy.

Lets take a moment to talk about The Man first. YOU, The Man, have some decisions to make.

1) You love respect and honor this Woman and you support her in her decisions.

2) You love respect and honor this Woman and you think she is making the wrong decision and you will try to convince her otherwise.

3) You don't care. (You wouldn't be reading my blog if you didn't care.)

I'm simplifying everything here for the purpose of getting at the main idea here for The Man. YOU, The Man may think you have no say or control over what happens... Not true. You do!

And we will come back to you, Man.

The Woman. So you are pregnant!!! If this was planned.. CONGRATS!!! If this wasn't planned and you are very happy and glowing and you can't wait to be a mommy... CONGRATS!

Please...

1) See a doctor regularly and do what the doctor says.

2) Look at your finances and PLAN for the future expenses of having a child.

3) ASK for HELP! Family and friends, the people who care about you WILL HELP!!!

Lets back track a little...

So you are pregnant. You did not plan this and you are on the fence about what to do.

Abortion?

It has entered your brain and either it flew out of your brain as quickly as it flew in or you are thinking about it.

NOTE HERE: No one ever talked to me DIRECTLY about all this "stuff". I thought something was wrong with me when I went though puberty. I was SCARED SHITLESS about SEX. So... if you have a question my dear FAMILY and FRIENDS or even if you want to give me YOUR opinion on MY VIEWS. LEAVE A COMMENT!!! I will try my BEST to give you a straight answer.

ANOTHER NOTE HERE: I am PRO-CHOICE.

And...

YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CHOICE YOU MAKE! If you make the choice to END the pregnancy then do not gloss over it with the bullshit that political pro-choice AND pro-life bullshitters try to feed you. If you follow my blog then you have heard me say this before:

Don't LIE to yourself.

Get the truth about where your body is in the pregnancy. Get the truth about where your mind and heart is. Because no matter what decision you make you will either have the POSSIBILITY OF GIVING LIFE or you will be KILLING THE POSSIBILITY OF LIFE.

LIFE is about POSSIBILITIES.  We will come back to that.

I believe that to have an abortion means killing apart of yourself. It means cutting out something that your body is growing. It is apart of YOU.

And... Sometimes you have to remove the POSSIBILITY of something NOT GOOD for you.

And... The worst part is... you will never know how your life would have been either way. YOU have to make the BEST DECISION for YOU.

Lets take a moment and go back to The Man.

So The Woman tells you her decision. What do you do? Ill tell you what NOT to do...

DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF! Get the truth about how you feel and what this woman and possibly your child mean to you. Don't hide! FACE your decisions. Be SMART!!! If you do not agree... THEN SAY SOMETHING!

NOTE HERE for The Man... YOU DO NOT have the right to TELL The Woman WHAT TO DO. You can MAKE YOUR OPINION KNOWN. That is all. That is HUGE. If you don't say anything then you will have to live with all the POSSIBILITIES that come from that decision.

AND...

I did not expect to write this tonight. Someone just asked me, "What are you writing about?"

I said, "Pregnancy... and ... um... abortion." Then I proceeded to make excuses as to why I chose this topic. There needs to be no excuse. We should NOT be afraid/scared/uncomfortable to talk about SEX and all the shit that comes with it. WE SHOULD TALK. WE SHOULD DISCUSS.

I was (unexpected, a surprise, unplanned). My mom could have done something else in her life. My Mom decided to have me and I was born. SHE CHOSE to HAVE ME. It was a choice, "I" WAS A CHOICE... not a requirement. 

Thank you MOM for choosing the POSSIBILITY of ME.



Your Daughter, Granddaughter, Sister, Cousin, Niece, Aunty and Friend...

Pili





Sunday, April 7, 2013

Asking for HELP.

Maybe. JUST MAYBE.

Maybe one day I will take my own advice. But my STUBBORN hard-head won't even listen to ME! I FORGOT to read my own words! 

"What's wrong with you now, Pili?" You ask.

Well... because I didn't ask for HELP, I didn't tell the people that love me how much pain I was in AND because I thought I was such a TOUGH COOKIE that could DEAL with the pain... I was rewarded with about two dozen needles poking out of my back at about 9PM last night. Today? Mostly in pain and not really moving much. 

"What happened?" 

After about a week of self-medicating (Advil), self-massage and telling myself that my back pain will go away without professional help... My back went out. I have an old injury from 1999ish in my upper back due to someone hugging me too tight. 

Yes... I said HUGGING me too tight. Long story. Maybe I'll tell you the story later.

When will I learn?

I was actually okay for awhile until I got into a car accident in my mid-twenties that pretty much re-messed up my upper back and neck. But did I get it checked out then? Nope. Not until a few months later when my back went out SO BAD that to THINK about MOVING was like having a billion ton elephant do ballet on my spinal cord. I asked for help then... BUT NOT FORCEFULLY ENOUGH. I had to drive my stubborn ass to my Yoga Instructor who gave me an adjustment and some Advil. That was a painfully painful experience on so many levels. First, the person I was with did NOT help me because I was not FORCEFUL enough. Second, I was too stubborn to call anyone else. Third, It felt like someone was punching me repeatedly in my neck and upper back. That was in the year 2007ish.

My back has gone out a few times since then and in the past two years I haven't had any problems because I have taken myself to SEE SOMEONE. In the last six months I've been going to an amazing  chiropractor but I haven't found a new one since I moved.

So lets come back to my sore-ass knotted back and neck now in the present. Now I am 32. I should be ALOT smarter about shit like this. BUT I AM NOT. Have I learned something from this? Yes.

1) ASK FOR HELP!
2) If no one hears you... ASK AGAIN! Or ASK SOMEONE ELSE and KEEP ASKING.
3) The people who love you and care about you will move mountains to HELP YOU. BUT they can't READ YOUR MIND. You have to tell them, "I NEED HELP AND THIS IS WHAT I NEED HELP WITH."

Just so you are not worried...  I am going to see the same acupuncturist tomorrow and then a new chiropractor on Tuesday.

Help your neighbor. Help your friend. Help your Family. Help YOURSELF be healthy and stay healthy.

Love and Aloha,

Cousin Pili

The Sun rises on another day at Haleakala...




Thursday, April 4, 2013

Death: Rage. Resignation. Reliance.



"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,   
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

-Dylan Thomas

Aloha my Family. Aloha my Friends. Aloha to all you who have joined me on tonight's journey. If you haven't already please read my last blog HERE. It'll give you more of a lead into today's topic.

Death.

As I said on Sunday, I went to Church. I do not go to Church often because I don't believe in RELIGION. I believe in GOD. And that is a WHOLE DIFFERENT BLOG... I'm not going to argue religion here. Here we will talk about a sermon I heard on Easter. Here I will talk about three ways or CHOICES I learned to deal with DEATH.

RAGE. RESIGNATION. RELIANCE.

RAGE. In the above poem by Dylan Thomas, the poet tells his father... He tells US ALL... to RAGE, RAGE against DEATH. He says not to be gentle about it. He is telling us to NEVER GIVE UP. HE is saying that you should FIGHT with your last breath against DEATH.

I also have the feeling that Mr. Thomas was ANGRY. He was RAGING AGAINST his FATHER'S death. He fought for his father's life. He desperately wanted his Father TO LIVE, to BURN and RAGE. He does not... He did not want his father to DIE.

Does this poem resonate with you?

Or...

RESIGNATION. No matter what age, creed, color, sexual orientation, education, social standing... No matter where you live or what you've done with your life... ONE DAY YOU WILL DIE. So why fight it? Live or die? What does it matter? People die everyday.

Give up?

What about RELIANCE?

Now I could talk about the reliance in GOD that the Pastor from Church on Easter talked about... I'M NOT. I wanna talk about the TANGIBLE. Death is inevitable. We don't know when it's gonna happen but we know it will happen one day. Why be afraid of the ONE THING in life that is RELIABLE? RELY in the FACT the YOU... YES YOU... will LIVE YOUR LIFE to THE BEST and FULLEST.

RELY on LIFE. RELY on YOUR SELF. RELY ON YOUR FAMILY. RELY ON LOVE. As death happens, LET LOVE STRENGTHEN.

I am going to leave you with one more poem from Mr. Thomas. Read it and take from it what you will. I think the Poet is saying that no matter what "DEATH shall have no dominion" if you have LIVED.

"And death shall have no dominion.   
Dead men naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,   
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;   
Though they go mad they shall be sane,   
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;   
Though lovers be lost love shall not;   
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.   
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;   
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,   
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,   
And the unicorn evils run them through;   
Split all ends up they shan’t crack;   
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.   
No more may gulls cry at their ears   
Or waves break loud on the seashores;   
Where blew a flower may a flower no more   
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;   
Though they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,   
And death shall have no dominion."
-Dylan Thomas