I love you.

Aloha My Family, Friends and other lovely people.

(I apologize for my one day lateness... my wifi went down unexpectedly while I was writing and I lost this entire blog post... this is the rewrite.)

You will have, by now, come to realize that sometimes I will say that I will talk of something I'd like to write about in the coming blogs. I will and I do even though it is not always on the date that I said I would. Things, Happenings, Events and Random thoughts pop up into my over active brain and sometimes they take precedence over what I planned on writing. Thats the great thing about life... the unexpected.

And sometimes its not so great.

My Grandma called yesterday to tell me that her little sister, my beautiful Aunty, has taken a turn for the worst. Today I will write about Family. Today I write of LOVE.

DISCLAIMER - None today. I have nothing to disclaim. I will tell you, remind you, claim you as my sister, my brother, my mother or father, my grandma or grandpa, my cousin, my uncle or aunty... My Friend.

I love you.

Now you say it.

Thank you.

HERE IS AUNTY'S STORY-

"On Monday October 1, 2012, AUNTY was in a car accident where her foot slipped on the accelerator and she went into the side of a building (just knocked a few bricks loose) in the Honda Fit, the air bags did not deploy, the police investigated and the paramedics checked her out, said she was okay and could drive the car home which she did. The next AM naturally she was sore and her back hurt. Then on Wednesday AM she started vomiting so UNCLE took her to St Cloud and she was admitted. They had determined she had a crushed lower vertebrae and possibly felt it could heal with her wearing a brace and avoid surgery. While fitting her with the brace she had a seizure and therefore was not released as planned.  She had multiple tests run MRI, EKG, CAT, MRA as well as a spinal tap which indicated that she had an excess of protein in her spinal fluid.  From this the Doctors were lead to believe that she had some sort of virus and began treating her with an antiviral medication, and testing her for any and all viruses.  This search came up empty, and on Monday, October 8th, she was sent home from the hospital and told to follow up with the crushed vertebrae in two weeks.

On Tuesday morning (the 9th around 1AM), she was having a hard time breathing and was thought to have had another seizure.  She was returned to St. Cloud Hospital by ambulance, was put on a ventilator and after more tests, a small tear was found on the lower part of her brain.  She underwent exploratory surgery Tuesday afternoon and the Doctors ultimately reported that the could not operate for fear of a stroke.  The current plan is to see if this bleed will heal on it's own."

Stop and breathe. Digest.

Read on. This is from her SON,

"Today Dad took mom to the doctor in Clearwater.  The doctor confirmed some things that we have seen for a while.  Because of mom's stroke damage, she can no longer swallow properly.  Thus she chokes on her mucus/saliva periodically and causes her to vomit (through mouth/nose).  The doctor stated that this is painful and not going to stop.  We have also seen her body deteriorate.   

In talking to the doctor it looks like Mom will start comfort care (end of life care).  This will include starting more pain meds, getting off blood pressure medication and possibly other things. 

We all wish that mom could have had a more significant recovery.  That is looking like that is no longer an option.  Now the focus will be a comfort care.  Hoping that we can keep suffering down to the minimum." 

It has been a hard four months for our family in Minnesota. Aunty will not heal. Her body is deteriorating. Our family in heaven is calling to Aunty. One day very soon her HUSBAND and his CHILDREN and GRANDCHILDREN will not be able to tell her, "I love you." WE will not be able to say, "I love you." Not to her tangible, earthly body anyway. Her soul will live on and watch over her family. Although, I am sure that if Aunty had a choice she would stay. She would want MORE TIME to say, "I love YOU." to her Grandchildren, to her Children, to her Husband... TO YOU.

Please stop again and breathe. Digest. Read on. 

Many of you could write circles around me on the topic of LOSS. It is a HEARTBREAKING thing to lose someone. I AM NOT WRITING ABOUT LOSS... I am writing about LOVE.

LOVE WITH ALL YOUR HEART. Say, "I LOVE YOU." to the people you love before you CANNOT. Call a family member or a friend and remind them that they are LOVED. Call your GRANDPARENTS and tell them, "I love you." HOLD your Lover, your Friend, Your Partner, Your Husband or Wife... HOLD THEM and LOOK INTO THEIR EYES and TELL THEM OF YOUR LOVE. 

Say, "I love you." like it is the last time. 

Call our family in Minnesota and let them know how much LOVE you have for them. LOVE IS MEANT TO BE SHARED. 

Share your love.

I love you.

Cousin Pili.

PS. To my FAMILY... If you haven't already, go to www.caringbridge.org/visit/berniejohnson/journal to read about Aunty. Leave a message in the guestbook. Leave a message of LOVE.

(UPDATE: Aunty has passed on. She is no longer in pain. I love you AUNTY. Give my love to Vovo and Great-Grandpa. A hui hou.)