I am verbally constipated. And… TOUGH MUDDER!!!

I am constipated. I am so full of ideas and events and awesomeness that I don't know where to begin.

Crap.

No. Not real crap. I'm just in deep Doo Doo because I wait too long to use my my blog to expell my smelly mind-stuff that now I don't know how to begin.

Hmm... Well I guess I'll start with this:

But first... a DISCLAIMER. I am not a doctor. I am not a nurse. I am not affiliated with any sort of health industry. You are reading this blog with the full knowledge that Pilialoha K. Nathaniel is not authorized by any school, institution or government to give health and medical advise. If you follow any advise in this blog it is at your own discretion and at your own risk. 

Okay? 

Nod if you agree. If you read anything past this paragraph that means you have nodded and you agree.

So… in order to discuss ANY of the newest happenings I first have to back track. And ince we're talking about poo let's talk about mud. Specifically MUD RACES. More specifically:

TOUGH MUDDER!!!

Before TOUGH MUDDER!!! Ben Thomas, Christina Black, Adam Kolinski, Me and Jason Yarusi

If you know me or/and follow me on Facebook you also know that four awesome people and myself did this PHENOMENALLY DIFFICULT mud race. It was crazy.

Crazy.

So crazy that I think my brain went numb in the Mason Container ice-bath and I just couldnʻt write about it. I couldn't think about it. Even now I tremble with delighted FEAR at the prospect of ever doing it again. (October 11-12 2014 is the next date!!!)

So that brain-numbing sphincter-clencing TOUGH MUDDER was so… Well… Let me take you through some of my favorite parts of the course. Letʻs go with:

HAPPY NATHANIELʻS TOP TEN TOUGH MUDDER HIGHLIGHTS

or better know as…

HOW PILI GOT HER ASS KICKED!

10. The Running. I am going to admit it here. I was the last one to EVERY obstacle. Between my timidness, my lack of stamina, and my need to conserve energy I just SUCKED when it came to pumping myself up to run. Even though my teammates kept up a good pace I could not stay in time with them. I donʻt like admitting this. I trained for three months to get myself into running shape. 

9. The Cold. I hate being cold. I knew this was coming. I thought I could handle it. By the end of the race I could barely hold my beer because I was shaking so hard.  

8. The Shower. Almost the hardest part of the whole thing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! After three HARD hours in crazy obstacle-course land I had to wash off in an ICY shower.

7. Fatigue. I not only trained to run, I also trained my body to take the hardships that was dealt in the TOUGH MUDDER… at least that is what I thought. I really felt like the weak link. I did not have the massive strength needed to really be a key player. 

6. Funky Monkey. Yeah… this obstacle is basically a set of Monkey Bars on ACID. I made it to the first bar and slipped off. Regular monkey bars are hard enough as it is… add wet mud. Yeah. 

5. Arctic Enema. Imagine jumping in to a pool filled with ice cubes and muddy water. Imagine swimming though this pool and now dunk your head under the ice-cube-water for three seconds and then swim for another ten. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was trying to climb out when your entire body is screaming. 

4. All those Walls. The short ones. The tall ones. Ranging from 5ft to 30ft (It looked like 30ft to me!) Wow. There is just no way. 

3. Electroshock Therapy. 10,000 VOLTS. Nothing more needs to be said. 

2. Mud Mile. This is toward the end of the course. It includes HILLS OF MUD, WALLS OF MUD, DEEP POOLS OF COLD MUDDY WATER and MUD. 

1. Running. I know I mentioned this before. The running KILLED ME.

After the MUD!!!!

And…

I would do it all again. Why? Because I FINISHED. I COMPLETED ALL THE OBSTACLES. I did not "Opt out". I did not freeze and cry at the top of the 30ft tower. (It was probably closer to 15ft) I JUMPED OFF!!! It was exhilarating! It felt good to overcome my fears. It felt amazing to feel PAIN. To feel like I could fall on my face at any moment. To feel angry at myself for not pushing harder.

How did I do this? Their names are Jason, Christina, Ben, Adam and the countless people I ran with who helped push me along by running along side me, helping me up, showing me where to go and allowing me to help them as well.

I know in the beginning I said I was the weak link… I was. BUT I STILL SUPPORTED MY TEAM and in TURN THEY SUPPORTED ME. This blog is for you guys. Thank you so much for showing me that I can do these crazy things. Thank you for giving me a shoulder to lean on… or climb on… in this case.

This is also for all of my family members who are living HEALTHY LIVES and supporting the OHANA CHALLENGE! You know who you are…  For you all who donʻt or havenʻt made the time… please do. We donʻt really know what goes on beyond this life. So live your life like its the only one you are ever going to get. In Health and WITH LOVE!

And this is for my Grandma. When I was eighteen, she was given SIX MONTHS to live. With the help of FAMILY, FRIENDS, STUBBORNNESS and straight UP healthier living… she has fought to be HEALTHY for her FAMILY. Thank you again to everyone for your support of our HEALTHY GRANDMA (or Aunty, Mom, Sister… depending…) 

I love you all! Please leave a note in the comments if you have ever been in any sort of race… muddy or otherwise!!!

Hereʻs to HEALTH and MUD!

Happy Nathaniel

FOOD!!!! Happy Turkey Day!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, my incredible family and all who have joined my table tonight. I am so thankful for you.

I was going though my old hotmail account. I check it, maybe, twice a month and would have deleted it long ago except that I still have a few awesome friends that contact me there. One such awesome friend is my hanai brother Steve. (Hanai = adopted, or as in "blood brother)

Steve found a group email from 2005 (before Facebook and Twitter became popular we all used group emails to speak our minds). One such email (below) was from my other Hanai Brother, Sam. 

Disclaimer: disturbing images and foul language. Not too much though.

From: Sam Campos  

Subject: People need to wake up 

Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2005 00:40:05 -0700 (PDT)

"Hi gang, 

I'm not a vegetarian.  I like to eat meat. 

Tonight, I saw an ad for  tryveg.com, and went to their website.  I clicked on the area of animals. What I saw and read, reminded me of a program that I saw several years ago called "the animal contract".  It showed how we the people of the world treat the animals that we eat and wear the skins of.  

It made me ashamed to be human. 

We are destroying our world and no one seems to care, or if they do, its not a popular thing, so we go on like we don't care. 

When we are children things that we value like caring for our world disappear when we become adults.  Why?  No matter what the case, the fact remains that we are many and the resources are few.  People need to wake up. 

Remember the Lorax?  He spoke for the trees. 

I don't usually send out an e-maill like this. But I think that its really important and I trust you will too. Sorry.  I'll get off my soap box now. 

If you want, pass this website along.  
Maybe it will make a difference.  
Maybe somehow we can make a difference.

Sam"

And this was my response a few days later... I was 25! I guess he'd gotten so bad replies back so I backed him up with this:

On Wednesday, October 26, 2005 6:58 AM, pilialoha nathaniel <pilialohanathaniel@hotmail.com> wrote: 

Hey all!
Some of you know me, I know some of you, and the rest are just wondering...  

"Who are you... really?" 

This is in response to Sams' e-mail about tryveg.com. If you know me... then you know I can eat and eat and eat and eat, I LOVE FOOD!!!  Living in NYC especially... SO MANY MANY MANY ONO-KINE RESTAURANTS!!!  I still love food.  But a friend of mine turned me on to websites like the one Sam just showed you plus a few books like "Conscious Eating" and movies like "Corperation".  I realized 1) That I didn't need to eat so much to be satisfied, 2) the human body was not built to handle soo much animal product (if any) and 3) that it's just plain gross when you see how these animals are kept and killed.  (Really amazingly gross). 

So... I am now semi-vegitarian.  I've been trying this diet for about 6 months now.  I only consume fish about once a week and when I do it is usually raw.  (What can I say - I like sushi and sashimi.)  I never- ever thought I would do this.  I, like Sam, loved meat.  I just don't need or want it anymore.  There's just so much more in this world to love. 

Now some of you may be saying... "You've turned into a tree hugging yoga practicing weird stinky hippie person. Stop lecturing me"  And I'd say "Yes, thank you... except for that stinky part"  And then I'd tell you that "I'm not lecturing you... it's the mainstream media, school, the government.... that has been lecturing you all your life.  I'm just a little voice that is just reminding you that life is all about the choices you make."  You all just need to do what is right for you, your body and your environment.
It's all about choice. 

Aloha, 

Pili 

PS.  If we ever hang out... no worry beef curry... eat what you like... I don't usually say anything about my personal preferances towards food.  And I am not one to try to force my personal choices unto another person.  Just backin' up my big bro!  Aloha no!

And this is my e-mailed response to Steve TONIGHT... Eight YEARS later... I'm a little older... Wiser? Maybe....

First... I only check this email about twice a month. I have it because I still have awesome friends who contact me here. 

Second... I am so thankful for you! I hope you had a very happy thanksgiving!! 

Third... I'm a carnivore now. That Monsanto-corn-fed, genetically fucked-with, mutant turkey was awesome!!! That being said. It's still about the choices we all make. I chose to go back to eating meat because I needed to gain weight. I eat meat because my diet of NOT eating was not working.  

CHOOSE TO BE HEALTHY!!! Listen to your body and figure out what it needs to be active an healthy. Talk with your doctor!!! 

I still eat more veggies and try to buy SUSTAINABLE food products. I will be cutting back on my bread and processed food consumption once more.  

I still have to watch myself though… Iʻve gained about 20 lbs. since this time last year. I am HEALTHY at 128lbs!!!!!!!!!! BUT... I want to do the lemonade cleanse again. I want to do the cleanse BADLY!!! Very NOT GOOD for me. The anorexic in me wants to starve. She really needs to... 

...Go away.  

I shove a thick, juicy, grass-fed, sustainably produced, happy cow steak into her mouth and tell her to shut the fuck up. 

And Eat it.

Love,

Happy Nathaniel

A Grandmotherʻs Deposit: My Grandmother is AWESOME.

A Deposit on life.

I was just having a discussion on Deposits. Not the kind you put in the bank... Nope. I'm talking about the sort that cost you money. When a business asks for a deposit, that business is basically making sure that their investment of time and money into YOU and your project is not wasted. They are making sure that you will use their services and will not backout. Most businesses that require deposits put time and effort into you... Time and effort that you may not see or realize.

On the flip side... Make sure that when you are paying a deposit that you 1. Have read the fine print on the contract, 2. Are absolutely sure that you will use those services 3. Make sure that the deposit amount is fair and reasonable and 4.Did I mention READ the contract.

And so you read the contract that states that the deposit is the property of the business. You sign that contract saying that you will put down a deposit of X amount of dollars as good faith that you the customer will follow through and use the services that the business is preparing to offer you. You pay that business your deposit.

So... All life threatening and natural disasters aside... If you, the client, decide not to use the service you put a deposit down on... Do you deserve to get your deposit back?

I'm actually asking.

All life threatening, acts of God and natural disasters aside... Do you think you should get your deposit back? 

AND...

Welcome to another installment of Happy Nathaniel. 

I went to an awesome wedding a few weeks back that I want to mention here and now!!! It was the wedding of two great friends, Joel Young and Lindsey Warp. May their lives be fuller and filled to the brim with happiness!

And...

That's not what I called you here for. I called you here because My Grandma is the best Grandma ever!

Speaking of deposits... This woman has deposited so much LOVE and HOPE and STRENGTH into her family. Let us do some Math on the CARING/LOVE DEPOSITS Grandma has made over the years...

Because its rude to mention a ladies age without her consent... let us use a span of roughly 60 years of KIDS: 

1 older sibling, 3 younger siblings, 1 husband (oh I love you Grandpa), 4 daughters, 13 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and lets say roughly 2 dozen Hanai Kids... you know who you are!!! And thatʻs just the IMMEDIATE Family! I would be here FOREVER if I wrote down everyone that has benefited from Grandmas LOVE.

Grandma and her two oldest Grandchildren.

... Think about how much food Grandma has made for us in 60 years... There was ALWAYS food ready or ready in 10 minutes if you were hungry. 

... Think about how many hugs, kisses, spankings (hey... love hurts and you know you deserved it... you know who you are), more kisses you were given.

... Thatʻs a SHIT-LOAD of diapers in 60 years!!!

... Think about how much ti-leaf sheʻs wrapped around you to calm a fever and huli opu (tummy rubs) sheʻs given. Remember the cloth diapers (clean) she would wrap around your tummy to keep it warm.

... The house is ALWAYS OPEN.

... Grandma prays for you everyday... even if she doesnʻt particularly like you at the moment. That just means she prays harder!!!!

My family is now returning the favor. To my family...

Thank you.

I keep on hearing the sentence... "If you were here you would do the same. You would care for Grandma too."

To that I say:  Thank You For Making Me Feel Better.

To my family who ARE THERE... And you know who you are... To my family members who are staying up late and sleeping with Grandma... To my family members who have put their blood, sweat, and time into fixing the house on Lanikaula Street that WE ALL call HOME... To all my family members who have made multipule trips from the outer islands to care for OUR LADY... To my family who live their lives for family...

To my family... Here is one of Grandmas stories... When Great-Grandpa Nathaniel and Vovo got sick, Grandma took care of them. Yes... I am sure she had help... Yes... She could have done other things. She could have put Vovo and Great-Grandpa Harry in a care facility. But she didn't. She cared for her Mother and Father. 

Thank you for that Grandma. Thank you for installing... DEPOSITING... in your children and grandchildren AND GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN the power of CARE. The power of BEING THERE for your family. 

And now it is our turn. We will CARE for you, Grandma, like you cared for us. 

Thank you AGAIN and AGAIN for my Family who ARE PRESENT. Thank you for my Family that send their prayers every day. Thank you for you.

Thank you Grandma.

I love you,

Your Grandchild, Child, Niece, Sister, Cousin, Friend...

Happy Nathaniel

RANDOM FAMILY PICTURES IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER...